


The Vibrator Mystery

by AnimeDomo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, RA Life, RA/Resident, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6293431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeDomo/pseuds/AnimeDomo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It only took twenty minutes for Daichi to embarrass himself and potentially ruin a resident's semester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Vibrator Mystery

**Author's Note:**

> This actually happened to someone at my university. Befriending RA's has a lot of perks. Welcome to the shitty American-college-au no one wanted.

Fall semester Move-In Day breezed by – easy, quick, and painless, leaving Daichi Sawamura expecting the worst; a fire, an explosion, a drug bust. Something. But the event (often referred to by ridiculous names such as “The Day of Reckoning” by the staff) came and went with only a handful of angry parents and minimal sobbing, followed by a slow weekend that left the RA almost _wishing_ something would go awry.

“The freshman on my floor are way too quiet,” Daichi complained by way of greeting, entering the RA office Monday afternoon. His schedule allowed a two hour break between his morning and evening classes, a nice slot for grabbing lunch and harassing Asahi who had the 1pm-2pm office hour slot. No one wanted that hour and dear Asahi “Glass Heart” Azumane didn't have the ability to look into the Community Director's eyes and refuse the request after everyone else had turned him down. Said co-worker glanced up from the papers he was leafing through at the desk when the door closed behind Daichi. Asahi looked irritable – at least, as irritable as Asahi could possibly look.

“You're _actually_ complaining that your residents are well behaved? I've already had to write two reports!”

“That's not a lot.”

“It's only the first day of classes, Dai – they've literally only been here for four days!”

“Here's the thing,” Daichi ambled over to the mailboxes, keying his open and rifling through the fliers the community director had left. Junk, junk – dinner coupon – junk. “The quiet is making me suspicious.”

“Maybe you just have a good group of kids.”

Daichi cast Asahi a withering look – this wasn't their first semester in the RA position. They both knew better. The long haired man rolled his eyes. “How was your floor meeting?”

Daichi threw his hands up dramatically. “Perfectly fine,” Daichi huffed like he couldn't believe his own testimony.“They were quiet, they were there on time.” He settled on the edge of Asahi's desk and ran a hand through his hair – freshly sheared and cropped for the first week back. “I don't get it. Most of my floor is freshman. We were total _demons_ our first year of college.”

“Don't lump me in with you!” Asahi swatted at Daichi who dodged the attack with a laugh. “Just because you were an asshole as a freshman doesn't mean the rest of us were!”

Daichi went to retaliate by attempting to punch Asahi in his shoulder when the door to the office opened and the two grown men immediately attempted to look professional, fearing a superior checking in on their antics. A dark head of hair peeked around the door, blue eyes intense behind their frames as they settled on Daichi where he was still half-perched on the desk.

“Oh, good,” Kiyoko sighed, stepping into the room and letting the door fall shut behind her. “I was gonna ask Asahi to call you, Daichi.”

Daichi slid off the edge of the desk. “Something wrong?” He'd been waiting for the moment of panic to arrive. College dorm life was never smooth and the quiet was putting him more on edge than if he'd had spent the first weekend back breaking up fights and writing up reports for catching residents with contraband – that was all expected. To a seasoned veteran of RA'ing such as himself the quiet felt like sitting in the eye of a storm.

Kiyoko huffed a little, looking unsure. “Well, one of my residents came and got me – there's this...” She nervously waved a hand upwards as she fought to find the words. “... Muffled buzzing noise coming from one of the rooms on the third floor. Since it's your floor I figured I'd get you to check it out?”

“A buzzing noise? Like someone's phone or something?” Daichi grabbed the set of master keys off the hook next to the mailboxes. Kiyoko shifted a little, shrugging and readjusting the bag on her shoulder.

“I really don't know – I can't think of what it could be. It's been going off for the past fifteen minutes, apparently. My resident said she went upstairs but no one answered the door. I've got class in ten minutes.”

“I'll go check it out – I don't have class for another hour. What room?”

“My resident's in 217A – should be just above them.” Daichi made to follow Kiyoko out the door to sort out the complaint, waving goodbye to Asahi who was left stuck in the office.

“I'll just sit here, useless, for the next forty-five minutes!” Asahi called sarcastically.

“Don't be dramatic!” Daichi chided before closing the door.

Kiyoko headed out the front door, telling Daichi to have Asahi get a hold of her if he needed any help. Daichi absently thought he should ask for her number so they didn't have to use their co-workers as a go-between – then quickly wondered if he'd sound like a creep, asking for her number when they'd only met a few weeks ago for training. It may have been her first semester on the job but she was more capable than some people who'd been re-hired; Daichi didn't want to create a rift.

Just up two flights of stairs and Daichi keyed into the third floor of the building – there were perks to living in the same hall where the offices were located, like less walk-time in the blistering late summer heat and being able to literally shout through vents to get the attention of whoever was in the office without having to go downstairs. He and Asahi had attempted to lower a Cheeto on a string from the top floor to the office while Ennoshita had the 4-5 office hour last semester, but they'd lost it somewhere along the weird turns of the old metal AC system. 

Daichi stopped in his room at the end of the hall to toss his bag on his bunk and grab a notice form out of a folder before shoving his keys in his pocket to walk down to 317A. The tag on the door was a red paper Pacman ghost with googly eyes that wiggled when he knocked on the door. It had taken an entire week of his summer vacation to make all the Packman-themed door decs – he was still pretty proud of them. The original name that he had written on the tag had been scratched out with black marker, neat block letters spelling out “SUGA” just below it. Daichi racked his brain, trying to pin the name to a face from the floor meeting or one of the many residents he'd passed in the hall – but the name was unfamiliar and he drew a blank. He briefly wondered if that made him a bad RA.

Just as Kiyoko had said, there was a muffled buzzing noise coming from inside but no other sign of movement. He couldn't help but feel a little irritable as he jimmied the master set key into the old jank lock on the door – the damn things never worked like they should. He wished administration would splurge for new lock sets. He had to practically shoulder the door open but once the lock popped it swung open under his weight and nearly slammed into the wardrobe to the left of the entrance. Daichi stumbled, catching himself on the door handle, and peered into the dark room – unless there was someone hiding in the bathroom or under the bed, the room was empty of any other human life. The buzzing noise had become more clear, seeming to originate from somewhere near the corner to his left.

The room was tidy; bed made with clean-pressed sheets and large stacks of books organized on the desk by the window. There was a small fish tank tucked away on the counter of the kitchenette, bubbling with a few brightly coloured fish Daichi couldn't name. He gently closed the door behind him in case any nosy floormates happened to wander by.

He flipped on the light and began pacing his way around the room, following the noise as best as he could. It led him to the bed – a single bunk with neat white sheets and a shrimp plushy hidden amongst the pillows. Daichi didn't see anything laying around the bed that could be making the noise, so he fished his phone out from the back pocket of his jeans, flipping on the flashlight app and dropping to his knees.

Just out of arms reach under the bed, small and modestly shaped, was what Daichi could only describe as the pinkest dildo he had ever seen. It looked like something he might have glimpsed the one time Tanaka had dragged him to the sex shop in town after their 18th birthdays.

He stared for a moment, uncomprehending, before pinching his eyes shut and wondering why the fuck this kind of shit happened to him. No one else on staff had a dildo story – it couldn't be the kids' phone or something, it had to be a goddamn vibrator, of all things.

He sat back on his heels, the consistent buzzing now more of a taunt than an insignificant annoyance in the background, and dialed Asahi.

“RA Asahi, I hate my life,” he answered on the second ring.

“It's a vibrator.”

There was a long pause from Asahi while Daichi stared at the fish looping around their tank across the room, completely oblivious to Daichi's plight. “... Excuse me?”

“The noise. It's a vibrator. Under the girl's bed.”

“I... I don't know what you want me to do with information, Dai.”

“What did I do in a past life to deserve this?”

“Just... turn it off?” Even Asahi sounded unsure of what kind of protocol a vibrator entailed.

“I'm not _touching_ it!” Daichi snapped. He had wandered over to the desk, studying the books stacked along the edge. English books, classic books, garden books – he wondered what this girl was like, outside of bright coloured fish and pink vibrators that she carelessly left on while she was gone and forced her RA into uncomfortable situations. Daichi found himself wishing Kiyoko had taken the master set and just been late to her class instead of sacrificing him.

“Use a glove!” Asahi suggested. He sounded about as harassed as Daichi felt.

“I don't have a glove,” Daichi grunted into the phone. He could feel his face going redder by the second. He glanced around the room – would the resident be mad if he used one of her shirts, maybe?

“Plastic baggie?”

“Um, hold on,” Daichi tucked the phone to his shoulder to rifle through the kitchenette cabinets. The top left was nothing but supplies and utensils – cheap dollar store spoons and knives and a freshly bought carton of plastic bags left unopened in the back of the drawer.

“Thank god – I knew I kept you around for a reason,” Daichi muttered, pulling one bag from the roll and stuffing his right hand inside. It barely fit but it would do.

“Please don't keep me on the phone while you handle a resident's vibrator,” Asahi whimpered.

Daichi dropped back to the floor by the bed, switching the call to speaker so he could bring his flashlight app up again to relocate the nuisance. “Sorry buddy – we're going on year four of friendship. We're in this for the long-haul now. If I have to suffer through this, you're gonna suffer with me.”

Asahi made a pathetic noise on the other end of the call, the sound seeming obscene considering the situation. Daichi focused the light on the object for a second time – he was irritated, embarrassed and simply wanted to be done with this. If he was a hero in one of those classic stories he had been forced to read in high school this would have been his trial of strength and courage.

“Target sighted,” he muttered to the phone.

“Oh my god Daichi _please_ – just turn the damn thing off, write the notice and we can pretend this never happened.”

Daichi made sure his hand was secure in the baggie, flexing his fingers inside the clear material before taking a deep breath and reaching under the bed. He'd never admit it but he was cowardly enough to close his eyes as he felt the plastic come in contact with the buzzing object – fingers closing around it to bring it as close to himself as he would allow. He shuffled backwards, re-positioning himself so he was kneeling and holding the very pink toy at arms length, searching the damn thing for a fucking off-switch.

Asahi muttered something, sounding panicked, but the sound was washed out by background noise, and Daichi couldn't make out the words over the sound of the door opening.

A boy with silver hair and very wide eyes stood in the door way, looking equal parts confused and horrified as he studied Daichi – crouching next to his bed on the phone while holding a pink vibrator in one hand with a plastic baggie. He didn't even want to imagine how awful this looked.

“Uh, I'm gonna have to call you back.” Daichi said in a rush, ending the call before Asahi could splutter out a response. He dropped the phone like it was on fire, very much aware of the still buzzing vibrator in his baggie-encased hand. If there was ever a time for the gods to smite him. The boy seemed to shift from fifty-percent panic to one-hundred-percent humiliation as they made eye contact, the assumed resident's very pale complexion quickly colouring with what Daichi could only think was every drop of blood in the boy's body.

“Oh my god.” The whisper was so gentle Daichi almost missed it. The boy rushed at Daichi, pulling the vibrator from his hand and switching it off in one quick movement only to toss it aside, out of sight among the bed sheets. Daichi rose to his feet, suddenly extremely uncomfortable with sitting on his knees at the other guy's feet. He took a few bumbling steps backwards as the guy turned away.

“The – uh,” Daichi gestured towards where the boy had thrown the vibrator with his one bagged-hand, “I-It was on. Under your bed. The resident downstairs complained. Noise.” There was no response. “Like bees.”

_'Oh my fuck stop talking,'_ Daichi told himself, outwardly grimacing.

The blond had covered his face with his hands, fingers splayed across his violently red cheeks and hiding most of his expression from view. He wasn't even looking at Daichi – chin angled downward and posture screaming “please let me melt into the earth and never return.” Daichi could at least relate to him. He supposed it was more comfortable that they both very obviously wanted to die right now, as contradictory as that was.

Daichi could never remember feeling so embarrassed that it was physically painful. His body felt so warm he could probably fake a fever and get out of meetings for the rest of the week. He tried very hard not to mentally compare the light-haired boy standing mere feet away from him to the girl he had briefly imagined to be the occupant – and the obvious differences between a girl and a guy using such a tool – but then he realized that by trying specifically not to think about the guy in front of him using the cutesy bright pink vibrator he only ended up thinking about it even more and – goddammit. In a thoughtless effort to retain his authoritative but friendly RA-vibe and regain control of the situation, he held out a clammy hand for a greeting as though they had met on normal terms.

“I'm not just some guy rooting through your stuff, I swear. I'm Daichi Sawamura, your – “

“RA. I know.” The boy spoke through his fingers, still refusing to even so much as glance in his direction. Daichi retracted his outstretched hand, his embarrassment growing as he realized he had offered the hand that was still in the plastic bag. He caught a small peek of the boy's glowing cheeks, hidden behind his hands as he seemed to be trying to shrink into himself, and knew there was no salvaging the situation. He gently shook the baggie off his hand into what he assumed was the trash can before shuffling over to the desk, pulling the rumpled notice form from his pocket.

“I'll just write the notice form – since I had to key in – and then we can just pretend this never happened.”

“Great.” It sounded sarcastic and tired, but Daichi could see that the boy had shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees and face angled in any direction that Daichi was not in. At this point, his main concern was alienating one of his residents by the strange and embarrassing series of events; he wanted to console him somehow but he had no idea at this point if he'd ever even be able to look the guy in the eyes again without remembering the sheer look of terror he saw there the first time they interacted. How do you come back from getting caught handling your resident's vibrator?

“Uh – “ Daichi patted down his pockets then began to search the top of the desk for something to write with. He wanted to leave, quickly. Maybe curl up under Asahi's desk downstairs, maybe turn in his resignation from the community and transfer to a university where no one had walked in on him holding their sex toys. “Do you – er, pencil?”

Eloquent.

“Top drawer.”

Daichi slid the desk drawer open, ignoring the notepads and shiny, smiling pictures of the guy sitting behind him, grabbing a purple pen and deciding it would do. He filled out the form as quickly as possible, bullshitting the time and major details in his haste. Monday, 1:00pm, noise complaint – resolved. Perfect. He tore off the copy for record and shoved the top piece of paper in the resident's hands without looking at him.

“Uh, don't – don't, feel bad about this. Just keep an eye on.. it.” 

_'Shit, quit talking about the vibrator like it's a pet. Just leave – the guy's obviously mortified.'_ The boy nodded, the smallest incline of his chin, eyes still angled away and complexion stained crimson. Daichi couldn't look into his face for longer than a second before he felt his body warm with his own mortification. 

“If you need anything, let me know,” he finished lamely before all but sprinting out the door. He contemplated hiding in his room but something about knowing that four doors down he had potentially ruined a kid's first semester of college made him a nervous, guilty wreck. He decided to return downstairs, finding Asahi looking an absolute panicked mess but now accompanied by Noya, a new hire who enjoyed harassing Asahi as much as Daichi usually did.

“I heard you had to defuse a vibrator upstairs!” Noya cheered. Daichi shushed him, making sure the office door was firmly shut. 

“It was a sex toy, not a bomb!” Daichi snapped, face heating up.

Asahi was hiding his face in his hands like he was the one that had been traumatized, and Daichi ended up imagining the poor boy upstairs again, hunched over himself and looking miserable. Shit.

“Please tell me the resident didn't walk in on you with the vibrator in your hand,” Asahi muttered into his palms. Daichi's only response was a pathetic noise before huddling in the corner, knees to his chest and his glowing face tucked away. 

Noya was bounding around the room, chanting about Daichi being “The Dildo Whisperer” while Asahi attempted to restrain him, but all Daichi could focus on was how the hell he was going to ever look that guy in the face again without imagining a small pink vibrator. He fished the notice form copy out of his pocket, balling it up and aiming it at Asahi's head for a distraction.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate formatting, and I'm mostly using this as an excuse to avoid real work, but I'm really enjoying this.


End file.
